havenot posted for ages! anyway this is just a very really quick post.. i am here to promote my class blog which is still in the stages of construction.. hehe. it's www.31-dearz.blogspot.com . So long L! i plan to do a skin revamp soon. :)

Ah my dears.

This blog needs a reviving. And no better way to do it than to blog about the matters close to my heart!

Love is like a red red rose,
like a gentle breeze on the cheek,
whispering in my ear.
Like one of Shakespeare's sonnets
which bring to life that which was not.
Something which was not there before.
Unsure at first, but enduring in the end,
as Perseus who slayed Medusa
for his Andromeda.
What a great tale that was,
a tale of heroism and faithfulness.
But let us return to the present;
the approaching Valentine
the big surprise
the unfolding of events,
and hopefully the end of the confusion!
For confusion is felt in everyone's heart
once Cupid's arrow strikes.
Well, little Cupid,
we'll leave it to you then,
with a little trust and a little pen
and of course with a cup
overflowing with courage.
Of a different kind.
Valentine is coming next week,
tapping on the door with a sure hand.
Welcome him you people,
it's not everyday that he comes a-knocking!

I am in church now, doing resource.. for the whole day. Luckily my parents all0wed me to go out (: and for the whole day also. That's a miracle!

I announce that i am a slacker. I spent yesterday evening putting on the new skin, and thus neglecting my art homework.. but luckily school starts at nine tomorrow so i can still finish it.
It's the final design for the mural. During AEP tmr, we will probably check out the walls where we will paint it to. Quite cool (: !!
And my dear friend Jia Ru is my fellow L-luver. Go sister! haha. Whee.. she's letting me see the Deathnote manga tmr!

Cant wait for school! (: Sounds weird, but now i am counting down the hours to when school is going to start. Cos NY is the best!

These are just random talking cos i cant think of anything better to do ah. So long, L. lol.

I have not been bloggin for AGES.. since i was somewhat busy with all the going ons! haha
In case anyone is blur and still does not know this.. i shall announce..

I AM IN NANYANG JC!!!!

It has been a great orientation, and now lessons have started for the past two weeks. JC life is really much more exciting than secondary school. XD
Lectures and tutorials, and new school song, canteen food.. but the best thing is all the new people who are (mostly) very nice and friendly.
Some of the fun things i did so far-

Played tennis with Rachel, LeeYing and Edy from 8 to 9 am, where we did not have lessons,
Slacked around The Drum(the library) in comfy armchairs listening to my iPod,
Got wet during the waterbombs in orientation,
Giggled with Cynthia about a cute guy she fancies,
Ran around the track for fun with Xin Ni, who is an ex-cedarian,
Listened to Roy talking rubbish,
Spent hours doing my art mural design at home
and in the process of doing a clay artwork with my AEP group! and many more things. :)))

The people here are nice and open. I must say that i prefer NY to Cedar.. But i guess that's the case with JCs in general (:
i happen to have Lily, Xin Ni and HyeiMun in my class. So altogether there are four ex-cedarians! haha. It's fun.

I am hoping and praying for many salvations from NY! All things are possible with a willing heart and the right attitude. ^^

Ages have passed since i last blogged. I wonder if anyone is reading this. Everyone is so busy at the moment..

I never cease to be amazed at the leaders in HoGC. Wow. They are so ready to do anything for God and so bold and so good with their sheep and other people.
Charleston, Dominic, Ivan, Jian Ming... Fedora, Sylvia.. haha. :)
Dear Father, i dun know how, but i wanna be like that too one day. And hopefully sooner than later:) yupp yupp.
Uselessness be gone! That's the worst thing, to feel useless. Very sian. Well anyway. Faith is the thing that carries people through the times of trial, so faith, ENLARGE IN THE NAME OF JESUS!! :) The mountain shall be cast into the sea.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE! AND CREATE/ HEART AWARDS IS COMING!
I am praying for souls to be saved and lives to be changed. And for God's love to pour down.

One day in the House of God is better than a thousand days in the world.. well i certainly hope it will stay that way.

You are why I sing,
You are why i live,
everything of me I place at Your feet..
You are why I love,
You are why I give,
Everything of me belongs to You!

:) :) :)
I love to worship Father God. And sacrifice everything for Him. Cos i will not be a robber!
Powerful la today. VBS is great!! Everyday is a new revelation.
Praise and worship. Sacrifice.. yupp.

It feels like breakthrough for everyone, the whole church. Feels like everyone is growing and getting stronger day by day! wow. I am loving church and Pastors more and more. Watta great meeting.
UP ANOTHER LEVEL! This is a defining moment for the church. It's so tangible..
Devil back off, God is in this House! XD

Today is a monday monday monday. Lucky there is no school yet ah. :) I would oversleep and face the discipline master or what. haha. I am becoming sleepier every day and my hibernation rate has increased to about nine hours every day. ahyo.

Yesterday was cool! Pastor was preaching the third part of the dreams, visions and imagination. What a totally relevant sermon to my life! Pastors never fail to impact me. And of course God too! Pastor was saying how dreams and visions keep us alive and from backsliding.. true true. Cos a man without a vision shall perish and cast off restraint.
I am impacted. I will get my vision back. whee.. :)

God is amazing! I am so happy Seal likes The Simple CD (haha). Whee. Go Seal, bring down the presence of God! :)
Let's really worship God with all our hearts. Cos God looks at the heart, not on the words or how we sing. God likes hearts which are humble and expectant and always relying on Him.
The coming week is gonna be full of worship and the Word and God's presence! I just cant wait for VBS and 24. Tomorrow is my first ever VBS. I pray that all of us will grow through it!!

Dear Lord,
Let our hearts be open and pure to receive Your Word tomorrow and subsequently. We believe that this will be a time of BREAKTHROUGH! Not by our own might or power, but by Your spirit. Miracles will happen! Thank you for all You are, and all You have done. You are amazing. Thank You, in Jesus' name. Amen..

I am tired and sleepy and i am in Singapore again.
Cos i just returned from Down Under! It feels really weird to come back to my room and type at the same old computer. i will just put down some random thoughts! XD

Sec two Cedarians need to learn more respect
I have had too much chocolate and grown fatter
The plane breakfast was nicer on the way back
I shall be more responsible
I had lots of sleep, and my friend makes funny noises when she sleeps
I got to see real koalas and kangaroos!

It was mostly great, and i will have some fond memories. yupp. XD

I can't believe it. I have just finished my last O level exam!! Wow. Had three papers today, amaths and chem. Why is it that all the paper twos are always easier than the paper one.. very weird le.. haha. At least amaths and chem was. emaths also.
Now it feels very empty, i have no more things to study for. I can only pray that the study i put into it will pay off and i wont bawl when i get my slip back.. and i also pray that i can get to ny. Yep.. Nicholyn going there also, and maybe Joanna. *smiles*
Drained.. Princess Hours is very irritating now.. i cant stand Xin la. And Caijing likes him.. like wadeva.

Haha. Was hosting tw and seal at my house.. very fun de. XD Am actually surprised Pepicek never bite when he's out of the cage. so now i know. tw and seal, was fun to have you around!! thanks ah.. then went to buy seal's cake.. and lucky the card wasn't found out!! gave me a frighht..

Chem paper two was good! i tot would be more difficult, but i actually knew what they were talking about! And no funny drawings of isomers and esters and stuff!! XD I have Christine to thank! haha.. maybe i will wait for my results before being overly happy.
And i could do amaths paper two also! my paper one i think i lost about 30 marks.. and paper two should only be lose about 15. Praise the Lord!! XD hahaha.
Going worship session tmr, cg and then 4A class chalet. hehe. At Pasir Ris somemore. And sleeping over! *smiles widely*

Life after o's just feels so different. I cant wait for all the amazing things to happen. To dwell in the Presence of God once again. And go Youth camp'06!! If it's gonna be anything like the last year youth camp, then i admit that i am excited! :) wheee.
Cg. Church. Chalet. Youth Camp. Perth. Bali. Nameday. Christmas. Create. WOWW. Just great.

Yeah.. but i dun feel like a cedarian anymore.. but i love Cedar lots. The clocktower is still very attractive. Hmm.. I love Cedar. I will miss being a cedarian. Now there's only Cher and Gurv.. WE NEED MORE REVIVALS LA!!
Whether it's Cedar or NY or SA... Let the revivals come like a big big wave. Let all the sad and lonely ppl experience the goodness of Jesus! haha. I am going to start a revival at NY :)

More anointing! :)

Just some musings for today.

I am reading some old posts from other people's blogs.. And i am finding out that people who i thought are heartless and uncaring actually used to care in the past about other people they used to know.
It's painful. I see the change in others, from depressed to normal to inspirational. How do they do it? Especially one person in particular. Maybe on the exterior people look normal but they harbor secret emotions underneath the mask..

Ci jsem kamaradka? Mam nejakou nejlepsi kamaradku, no asi ne. Zatim. Ale opravdu doufam, ze se nejaka najde. Nekdo, s kym se muzu opravdu podelit s tim, co si myslim. S nekym,
s kym se citim sva a ..
Myslela jsem si, ze ona to byla. Ale ted ma na starosti hodne jinych veci. Snazila jsem se na to zapomenout. Najit si jine kamosky. Ale jenom s ni jsem se citila nejlip, a mela nejradsi. Minuly rok v listopadu.

Proc na to nemuzu zapomenout? Proc se minulost neopakuje? Bylo to jenom jako?
Why can't I forget it? Why doesn't the past repeat itself? Was it only pretended?

*tears drop down*

I still remember what she said.
"Let's enjoy each other's presence".

Well this post might seem a little stale. but i am just going to speak from my heartie. and really talk random stuff which comes to my mind.

Recently i have been trying to change, and really try to breakthrough in all the things i am struggling with. ughh. But every major success will have it's setbacks. ( fefe, i feel like tat too). So ya. i guess people are still the same. wont change so fast one.. haha.
And cheerleading myself on is stupid, cos it gets me sad after a while. So have to trust God, my BIG daddy who is always there! XD yeah man. And i also want to be a good friend.

There's just a lot of things on my mind. but betta than last time o cours. I am going to learn to live with it! And conquer eventually.. soon hopefully.. YES YES YESH. grr mann i am so angry at everything now. it's the loathsome devil keeping me down and never failing to provide discouragement when i try to rise up. *punchhh*

I need God's reassurance. and perseverance most of all. PERSEVERANCEE..

P E R S E V E R A N C E.

I am in the midst of studying.. so now i am taking a short little break. Nope, actually i am going to do art soon again. hur. It's fun, but too much of it is tiring. I still got about three more pages of it to finish!! betta buck up.

A1 for art!! Gotta get A1. If not i will do something desperate. lol. In two more days it will be all over. And then after o's i can start of my Create thingy. yayayayy!
I am gonna have a BREAKTHROUGH in my relationship with God! Cg was awesomee. And Garrett is so anointed. whee.

Be a friend to those in need. Pray for God's anointing and healing power. The scars shall be healed in the Name of Jesus! AMENN! God will make miracles happen.
yeah.. And thank you Seal so much for the hamster stuff, Pepicek (that's the name of it) is totally happy and excited now!! It's like living in a palace to him. Actually i also dunno whether it is a he or a she.. haha.

Tomorrow is a tiring day already. Chem prac, and bein stuck in the stupid hall till one thirty. Watta bore ah. *shakes head*Then YCKG. sigh.
But joy in the Lord transcends all things!, so i shall look forward to it with a pleasant expectation.

Here are some photos from the sec four graduation.. (that's mrs Lam up there!), Lilin, the Cedar gang, and then we are visiting Zhoumi and Yajing at the hostel. The horrible haze, and a photo collage i put up on my wall. XD

Recently everyone has been very nice to me.. and i still dunno why.. hahas. It's very sudden. But then, i am not so sad anymore! So i am a happy girl now! XD whee. I love my friends and i love God more. To all those who are sad and depressed: God is the answer! haha. So i am learning to dwell in His awesome presence again, do my QT and pray.

Dear God, i pray for a blessing to pay my phone bills! haha. Think they will climb to fifty dollars again or wad. sighh. But that is a SMALL LITTLE TEENY WEENY THING, so i will not dwell on it. yeah!

So i send everyone a very random hug. Fefe, loveya. Seal is awesome. Tingting is so caring. AND I JUST LOVE CEDAR! Although i am not a Cedarian anymore, it still holds many memories. But i also cant wait to be an NYJC-ian. A whole new different environment.

Well. Went shopping with mum today, and bought a new pink nightie and orange bedsheets. Went to the korean place in park mall to eat lunch! chicken bento set no 3 is really the best.. XD Also bought lots of oil paint, paste, brushes, pencils, eraser, varnish, turpentine.. YAYYYAYYY!! When i officially get it, i will really be ready to paint! so exciting ah.

Announcement: i understand electrolysis now! whoo. Gotta jia you and go all the way for my 30 hour study rule. With God all things are possible!!

This is for You God. Thank you for Your presence, that You have returned and not left me alone to cry by myself. Thank You for Your comforting touch, for the new desire to read Your Word and be blessed. Now is the time to go and reach out to those who need You. And too help my friends who may be Christians, but are not on fire.

Your presence fall, I will be waiting on You.

Just some musings down here.. i mentioned that am going to write some chronicles stuff, well, if i can remember it!! haha. Was a long time ago!

Chronicles of Cedar PART I

My first encounter with Cedar was the sec one registration, the orientation and induction!
Actually when after psle the posting was going to be released, i was not in singapore. (think i was in cambodia); so the teacher called my father on the phone and then i knew! :) hahaa.

Orientation was not bad, we had sleepover in school if i remember correctly. haha. All of us were scaared of the dark dark track and it didn't help that the seniors were telling us spooky stories about it.

During induction, i was like.. wondering if this is the school that i should be in. Cos a girls' school was a novelty idea to me at that time. Where did all the boys go to? haha. As i was a very tomboy, i was scared that i would get sick of the girls and have to bear with it for four years. XD
But the reason i preferred Cedar to my other choices of TKGS, TKS, Zhongua, Temasek, Ngee Ann etc was cos i liked the clocktower!! So cutee. haha.
That was before the school got the not so nice yellow and blue paintover.

My class in sec one was 1H. I was looking around the class, at all the unfamiliar faces, wondering who will my good friends be, and if i would have a best friend.
Let me see if i can remember all the names..

Andrea, bhavani, bianca, yuwen, polly, rebekah, tingwei, the two hui tings, sheena chia, yong en, shakura, shanti, gurinderjit, siti raudah, farhana, liyana, cerlyn, gracia, peiting, gail, jing han, wen qi, regina.. etc..

Suria was in my class for one day, but then she realised she was actually posted to 1A instead. hahas. Later on, i usually hung out with Gurinder and Becky and TW. Liyana, Bianca, Shanti, Gail, Cerlyn were also nice ppl who mostly adored anime. hahas.

Thats it for part one! lols.

Graduation. It all happened so fast. But one short ceremony is not enough to sum up all the happy and sad times i had in Cedar, all the angry times and melancholy times and lonely times as well.. *sigh*

Maybe i will write the chronicles of Cedar here one day! That would be fun.. :) The four years have been challenging in a great way, and i discovered a lot of both good and ugly things about myself, mostly through relationships.

From the induction ceremony.. orientation, ndp dance, streaming, ltc, oac, melaka trip, langkawi camp.. and blabla. And of course all my friends, classmates, teachers.. i will seriously blog about it soon. Now i am rushing off to help mdm nur transport the olevel art to the marking centre *chokes* i will never see my darling painting again probably. hurhur.

Listening to Mengenal-Mu.. :) Whee. Brings back memories.

Art workshoppe was greaaat! Pastor Adrienne is really nice and encouraging, and was really inspired about her mini sermon about redeeming the arts for Jesus! This adds a new dimension to my art now. And it's a completely new feeling from the kind of inspiration Ms Jou gives me. Lol.

I feel charged up and ready to impact the arts scene! :) whoot.

God's presence was oh so strong during the sunday service, and saturday praise and worship too. This is the place i love to be, the best place to be! xD
Pastor Don prayed for everyone. Me too.. He was praying and i fell down under the power, but then when i was halfway falling, I heard Pastor Adrienne say 'Paint!'

And yes, i am going to paint; like never before! *laughs*

I pray the person i talked to on the bus today will have a blessed afternoon^^.
And i am going to a special Czech five course dinner on thursday evening!! yeahyeahhh

*calms down*

Off to study maths! ..

Wow wow wow.

Whee. Full stop.
I am energized and ecstatic and feeling super lame. Hahahaa. *Chuckles*

I dunno why. Maybe it's cos my parents are out. Or that i had sushi for dinner. Or that i returned home at 8 from Bras Basah after an afternoon of art.
Apologies for the lame sentences and words full of redundancy.. but..

I AM HIGHH! My L1R5 is not 17 after all, now it's 16 mannzz!! So nett would be 14. Maybe i can make it to NY for the first two months after all! Now i have a faint hope simmering within me..

NY here i comee! I want the greatest orientation there ever was. Oh yes.

My room is in a healthy mess, which my parents find mildly unsettling. But hey, an artist's room is the epitomy of messy, no? :)

Random thoughts flying around. Here i go.

The beautiful new sofa was unveiled recently, and it's like falling into a mountain of pillows. Mum devised a new way of washing dishes- everyone has to wash his own, even my dad!
I look fat and blurry on the art prep pic i just printed.
My nausea is gone!!
Watched Spongebob.
Art prep is looming. Haven't thought of a title yet. Submitting tomorrow. (yeah so sad ah).
I feel like hugging someone. Too bad that nobody is around. (comm, u want to huggie u too!)
Art workshop on saturday is gonna be amazing!
And i anyhow did my compre and summary today in class.

Prelims are over.
Doomsday has come and gone.
I have gotten back the results already.. well. Happy about some and not so happy about some others..

English! 80%!!! Whee! That was rather unexpected! Hahaha :) The only A1 in my class. And top few in the school.

French! 75%! Luckily they rounded it up, so managed to squeeze through with an A1. Yays. I love languages!

Art! 75.5% total. Coursework-79%, Paper 2-71%. Sighs. Should have done better. My paper 2 prep was too incomprehensive for the teachers so they only gave me 17/25 for it. So i am no more the top in Art. Sad ah.

Biology. 62% A little disappointing. Hoped to get an A2 for it.

Social studies/geog. Not too good.. 63% Gotta study more ss, and read the question correctly. Sot that next time i will not do an extra essay. lol.

Emaths. Disappointing. Only 51%.

Chem- D7.

Amaths.- E8

My enthusiasm has died off..waah. Still got like 13 more hours to study before church tomorrow. i will manage somehow manz.

So my L1R5 is 17!
That's an improvement from the 28 i got in Midyear. So my goal now for O's is 10!!

On another note.. I was touched by my friend yesterday who gave me an early birthday present! I really needed it! :) Thanks Miss Liying! :) You rocks. Haha.

I will not be shaken for the Lord is my rock and my fortress.

Just a small little prayer-

Dear precious Lord, i commit everything into your hands, and just want to say that I love You more than anything else. I will trust in You and love You all the more.
I want to build a house not of straw, not of sand, but of strong bricks. (and maybe solar heaters).
Thank You for Your presence which never fails to amaze me.
Thank You for my leaders who are always there for me (when i need therapy).
And no matter what, I will praise You.. for You make the poor rich and the weak strong.

You are an awesome God. Amen.

I have finally conquered my prelims! Now i am only waiting for the results next week to see and be surprised if i get good grades.. but i think prelims were seriously easier than mid years. And Emaths was easy for the first time in my life!! Haha. Art was good too, hope to be getting an A1, at mid year i only got 70. I will shower some self-praise here- i think my watercolour painting of four apples and a boy is nice! :)

I am looking forward to church and Pastor's sermon on Ministry and S.H.A.P.E. I have read about SHAPE in the Purpose Driven Life, and so i cant wait to be blessed! Cos that's what i need. haha.

Some Bible verses:

1 Corinthians 12:6
God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all.

1 Peter 4:10
God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings.

2 Timothy 2:15
Do your best to present yourself to God as on approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

2 Corinthians 12:9a
My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.

It has been a really long time since i last updated! So i am updating now.. after my emaths paper 2 is over finally!! And i am rather hopeful to get at least a B, and i am hoping for A! XD yeahh man.

Listened to pastor's Where's Demas CD. I find it sad. That some people just wanna leave church like that. Is there a reason for it i wonder? Like, why do they suddenly wan to leave? I think it's a long process, and does not only have one factor, but a lot of factors that influence those who later on backslide.

Pastor said that it's drifting away from the presence of God, and yes, i agree. One cant last long without the presence of God, cos then, it's just empty. One will have to force himself to go to church and the passion is bound to wane if it continues like that.
It's also important to have great relationships with other people in church and one's own leaders. Relationships create the sense of belonging to a group, and makes it a joy to come back every week!

Eventho some may not admit it, everyone thirsts for deep and true relationships. I do, and my friends do too. I am not ashamed to say that i need great relationships. I want to be loved and accepted. Included. Not in a superficial way, but from the heart.

It is painful to see people not included. People who want to do something but are not encouraged to, not supported, not ... because of 'structure'.
Friendships should come before 'structure', good friends should not be forcefully torn apart by 'structure'.

Actually friendships, if not tampered with, will form it's own structure. Some people will do this, others will do that. And it's a joy, and not a burden! Cos we know each other so well, and for a long time already.
All the good things bloom in this environment. All envy bitterness is gone; there's no need for it. We are all one team, a group of people working together and having fun and ...

Hurhur. I still dont feel in my environment. And when i do, it's the 'structure' thing again.
Feels like i have one leg here, and the other one over there, and my heart is on no man's land. Disconnected from both worlds.

So i look. Right or left? Where to go? Friends i have known for a long time, or 'structure'?

Don't get me wrong. 'Structure' has it's benefits, but also has two sides to it.
If you are happy with it, excellent! You are set to grow and do many amazing things you have never done before! Inspired and on fire.

If you're not happy.. well.. you can try to make some 'new' good friends, while looking at those who you knew play in their own little secluded field, (and i should add, having great fun). Basically leaving behind what you've known and treasured and which could have developed into great things and exploits.
'New' friends are great to get to know, but i feel that they should not come at the expense of 'old' ones.

I know a song-

Neopoustej stare zname pro nove,
zvlaste kdyz jsou momentalne v nouzi.
Mozna maji pamet jako slonove,
mozna je to nadosmrti mrzi.

Dneska jsi tak uspesny a nemas strach,
zadny hrebik netlaci te v bote.
Zitra budes opusteny stary brach,
zitra budes uz mit hrebik v bote.

A great song sung by my favourite artist.

Don't leave old friends for new ones,
especially when they are in need at the moment.
Maybe they have a memory like elephants,
or maybe it grieves them all their life.

Today you are so prosperous and you have no fear,
nothing is holding you back.
Tomorrow you will be an abandoned old brother,
tomorrow there will be something holding you back.

My cry is that people will not feel unwanted and disconnected, especially in such a great place. Folks may say; you are mature, you must overcome! Jia you!
I dont seek encouragement just for that one occasion, i seek real heartfelt support throughout.
I want to overcome, i am working to overcome, .. but that would make it a whole lot easier.

I may be an egoistic goof full of paranoia, but hey, this is me. heh. At least it's me, before i become an aggressive freako who is bent on revenge. hehheh.

How do i love when i dont feel loved? +++

Woohaa.
My super slow computer guy is up again! So that means that i can blogg now! XDD Missed blogging mann. Well let's see, lots of things happened!

Pastor Joaquim Lunqvist! TAKE THE SCHOOLS! Wow. The sermons were more like sharing sessions full of amazing testimonies of how ordinary teenagers did and still do extraordinary things for God with such admirable courage. Johan, Jannie, David.. amazing. That teenagers like us can rise up to such levels and impact their world for God. Jannie is a total record-breaker, saving five people in a week?! *endless string of wows*

I wanna do something for Cedar too. Well. Thinks that i have not been bold enough. I really want to see salvations in our school, i am going to pray for a vision! For with a vision comes a purpose, and from a purpose actions are birthed! XD yeahh. Cedar For Christ! The next Cat High and St. Joseph's!

We are going to be more united than ever, come up with brand new fresh unique ideas, and PRAY and PRAY and PRAY even more together. Like we did last year everyday after school.

Last year.. erms. That reminds me! I should not be living in the past, which i have been living for a long time lol. What was last year cannot be the same this year, as there are many different factors to consider now. And people are different. *sighs* I shall not live backwards!!

I will step out of my comfort zone, I will not be affected by what people say or don't say, i will be bold for God and make a difference.
I will pray more, i will be still in God's presence. I will be another Rachel Scott, God bless her.
So on fire, so close to Him, giving up my life.

God, I am here. Send me out there into the world to be the Light for everyone. For my friends, family and all the ones who need love, care and concern.

I WANT TO LOVE YOUR AND OTHERS ONCE AGAIN!! This is the cry of my heart..

Saturday is my day. hm yeah. Just moved house yesterday morning to a new place in Bishan! haha. The whole process only took three hours.. really fast! there's lots of work to do and clean and scrub.

Sharing testimony today later on, i hope it will be alrite! haha. And i really want to stay for pastor joakim's sermons.. hope my mum will let me!

I am not going to be put down by loneliness, i will be filled with the Holy Spirit and anointing! XD

Today was english prelims. Wrote some utter rubbish and propagandist blah for the compo, hope Mrs Foo buys it.. yeahh. The rest was okay, but summary, ah the summary- hehee. If i am honest, i only saw one or two points! lol. The paraphernalia was heavy and the waves were transformed into a monstrous yo-yo. I had the urge to laugh during the exam, but that is not advisable, so i giggled under my breath, like this, hehe! :)

Studied in the afternoon with Seal, Tingle and Liying at TP macs. And i am proud to say that i learned a lot, with Liying's help.. thanks Liying! :) Three solid hours of chemistry. I am worn out. I will wake up just in time for chem prac prelim tmr, then two french compos prelim and then being at YCK till ten. Oh joy. I pray that i will not fall asleep at YCK and someone will accidentally drop a dumbell on himself. Bwah. Haha.

Whee and i also bought a new book (finally!) with my $10 Popular voucher from the beginning of the year. A book called Imitation is Limitation by some christian author. haha. Will read! And Harvest Times rockses!

Yesterday was a really powerful QT! wow. Worshipped with the song I could sing of Your love forever, cos i happen to have it on CD! whee. God's presence is so so amazing.

Like a cloud enveloping me.
Loving arms holding me close.
Perfumed air of utter joy.
Thank you God.
It is these moments I live for.

I realised that being filled with the Holy Spirit is the key. Then anything is possible.
Come Holy Spirit.. I long to know You more! Love yaa lotsss! XDD

1. Humility
2. Persevering spirit
3. Unshakable faith
4. Love for others
5. Holy Spirit

These are the things that i felt God speaking to me, which i will need to rise up. God never fails to surprise and help me! Cos He is just so amazing. :)

A dark overcast sky with a large swarm of black bees buzzing menacingly. Then the clouds are parted, and a single beam of sparkling light shines through. More and more light shines forth and the bees disintegrate upon contact with it. Gradually they start moving away, and some of them fall dead on the groud.
The sun floods the landscape and shines on the dead bees. It takes a long time to clear them up, but it is done in due time. Now all there is , it is the beautiful landscape, pink and healthy on a 'Perfect Day'.

I will run to the altar
and catch the fire,
to stand in the gap
between the living and the dead.

Give us a heart of compassion
for a world without vision,
we will make a difference,
bringing hope to our land.

Another amazing day! XD

I have just realised how Pastors love us so much, and make time for us in spite of their schedules. And what was before is all the more now.
Pastor Lia has a vision of fighter planes launched forth from a hangar, planes which will impact everyone they encounter and change lives, schools, nations and generations!

a decade of dreams. How far have we come! From the humble beginnings of nine to over 400 today.

I am so thankful to God for all that He has done in this House. All the loving and caring people that i know. I will rise up and grow in love for them XD. Cos i have not been loving people enough and can get super tiny ie small at times! haha.

1 corinthians 12:24-25 - But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be not division in the body, but that its parts shoud have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

This verse really jumped up at me as i was reading it. Must have been God, cos i just flipped to a random page. (:

" And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 cor 13:13

I love God, church and my friends! :)

FOP 2005!


Wow i am looking at some people's old blogs, and am feeling reminiscent about the 'ole' times last year.
Hey exactly a year ago at this time, i was queueing up at the Indoor Stadium with Fe, Rani,
Joanne, TW, Francis and Chek Yeow. I was playing 'guess the capital city' with Fe which is my favourite game.. Does Oslo sound familiar? haha. That's the capital of Norway by the way. Was taking lots of pics too. Francis was telling us all the things he did when he was in secondary school! oh my my! Whatta joker. lol. :) Yeah i still rmb Francis.. And FOP was was wayy cool, esp Delirious? ! Martin Smith is so anointed! :) I rmb i liked FOP so much that i wanted to persuade Tereza to go the next day too.. well she did not but that was expected. So i went by myself and got completely cut off from my fren, so i sat in an aisle seat with a nice auntie. Wasn't as good as Friday 5/8/05 but was still great! hehe.

It's my birthday today! I am officially a year old Christian. XDD And what a wonderful and eventful year it was. WOW.

Though i have to say i miss the old times somewhat. Fe, Rani, TW and me were really united. Even had Nehemiah bible studies after school at that tree place where all sorts of things were falling down on us! haha.

Now that i look back, i was so innocent, so on-fire, so passionate, so disciplined. I can't describe it, it just felt different. REALLY different. Sighs.. lol.
I felt freer then in my relationships. Oh well.

I shall pray that the freedom and love i experienced will come back. That very powerful and unconditional love i used to have. But i have also learnt many things about myself, both good and bad and i have to be thankful for that. There are many exciting things still in store for me and for those whom i know.

I am trusting that the future will be amazing!

I have finished reading the book i borrowed from the school library! What a great book.. talking about self-esteem and all. It has the things i already know, but repackaged in a new and exciting way. Loves books. Loves books a lot! Cos books are so so amazing, one can learn so many things, have such a great time reading, and also a sense of comfort and familiarity! woohoo.

I am not about to let anyone or anything that they say let me down, cos i refuse to be directed by other people's feelings anymore. So i am trying to find my own feelings now.. :) Gotta search very deeply, yeah, cos if u pretend to be always happy for a long time and ignore your true emotions inside (for the fear that others will not accept you), it will cause one to lose touch with the true feelings. That's what the book said anyway. Me finds it quite true la.. haha. I feel sad for those people who need a boost in the self-esteem, a few people i know of, cos i know what they are going through. And it's not always a happy sight to see them. hurhur.. pray for them i will.
(:
Maths and chem test was a flunkk. Btw. Solomon is a great guy. A really great guy.. how many people would ask for wisdom if u threw riches into the package? And he is so humble before God, like Chew Theng said. Pride will not rise up, i will remain humble always and serve my Lord! Even in the case that i become a leader in the future. Yeshh.

Got to know some people in church that i have never met before. Let me see.. Wei Xin and Kesia and Kai Yuan. She's really nice ! Praise the Lord people got saved during Red Rain! *whee*
And i have a deep dark secret to keep!!XDD Nobody shall find out until the time comes! lol.