Holidays are over.. school comes looming up..

The holidays have passed like a blur, and now is the last sunday of the holidays- oh no it is too sudden!! buhu. two art lessons, chem extra lesson. i happened to come late for that and ms chng scolded me. Actually i feel kinda sorry for her as she seems to be trying her best but the class is just not responding. well. Chemistry is boring and doubly boring with a boring teacher, so who can blame us.. i am meanXD sorry ms chng.

Oac was.. alrite. The activities were fun and i enjoyed them to some extent, but the company of the other leaders was getting me down. Lots of cliques. I actually only talked to a few people who were willing, like Wan Lin and Lilin. hehe.. Had a super late night bible study with mr sng, which ended at four am. Not bad i'll say. And we got free marshmallows too.XD I seriously need to talk more, even to those ppl who i dont feel like talking to. Force myself to talk..lol. Exercise my mouth muscles so that they dont become permanently clamped shut. OPEN MY MOUTH LAA!!

Had lots of free time in oac, so i busied myself with thinking how are all my church sisters and brothers doing on sat and sun. So i just zoned out and spent the whole afternoon like that. No other thing to do what, since all the rest at the first aid base were talking in chinese. I REALLY MISSED CHURCH! Church is da beste!XD whheee.

BINTAN BINTAN BINTAANNN!! hahahahaha. yeap. was really cool. Got to know quite a few ppl and had some laughs too.! The concerts in the evening were the rockiest imaginable and everyone was totaly blown away!!XDD wowww. all the indonesian youths were impacted and fell under the power of God as the indonesian pastor prayed for them. The awesome presence of God just filled that place.. and it was haha AWESOME!! XD I jumped so HIIIGHHH during praise and everybody else did too and just built the atmosphere. There was a shift from the bored atmosphere at first to the electricity-charged atmosphere at the end.. the worship team was awesome too, and some of them even have their newfound fanclubs!!XDD Lolooll. I have to laugh whenever i think about it.:) WOWW. ^^

But i also have some mixed feelings about myself during the course of bintan, like i am not a good friend, lowlife etc laa. Got really frustrated at one instance and felt like throwing things around the hotel room and at people. Why do some people seem so peacefully asleep when i am irritated. I know i am mean..but.. i apologised already. So it really came to my attention that i need to work on my problems and that they are not resolved yet. Cant be bitter at others when they dont want to talk to me and instead talk to other ppl. Is it my mentality or are the others ignoring me.. not like oac pleaasseee.. :"( I hate to tao people. But it is the natural reaction to rejection. Thank you wei tze, ( is that the correct spelling?? sorry) u are the best. I need to do exactly that. i cant keep struggling with the same problem my whole life, i would just die la.

Look to God and praise Him, because He loves me as i am. Even when others dont.