Prelims are over.
Doomsday has come and gone.
I have gotten back the results already.. well. Happy about some and not so happy about some others..

English! 80%!!! Whee! That was rather unexpected! Hahaha :) The only A1 in my class. And top few in the school.

French! 75%! Luckily they rounded it up, so managed to squeeze through with an A1. Yays. I love languages!

Art! 75.5% total. Coursework-79%, Paper 2-71%. Sighs. Should have done better. My paper 2 prep was too incomprehensive for the teachers so they only gave me 17/25 for it. So i am no more the top in Art. Sad ah.

Biology. 62% A little disappointing. Hoped to get an A2 for it.

Social studies/geog. Not too good.. 63% Gotta study more ss, and read the question correctly. Sot that next time i will not do an extra essay. lol.

Emaths. Disappointing. Only 51%.

Chem- D7.

Amaths.- E8

My enthusiasm has died off..waah. Still got like 13 more hours to study before church tomorrow. i will manage somehow manz.

So my L1R5 is 17!
That's an improvement from the 28 i got in Midyear. So my goal now for O's is 10!!

On another note.. I was touched by my friend yesterday who gave me an early birthday present! I really needed it! :) Thanks Miss Liying! :) You rocks. Haha.

I will not be shaken for the Lord is my rock and my fortress.

Just a small little prayer-

Dear precious Lord, i commit everything into your hands, and just want to say that I love You more than anything else. I will trust in You and love You all the more.
I want to build a house not of straw, not of sand, but of strong bricks. (and maybe solar heaters).
Thank You for Your presence which never fails to amaze me.
Thank You for my leaders who are always there for me (when i need therapy).
And no matter what, I will praise You.. for You make the poor rich and the weak strong.

You are an awesome God. Amen.

I have finally conquered my prelims! Now i am only waiting for the results next week to see and be surprised if i get good grades.. but i think prelims were seriously easier than mid years. And Emaths was easy for the first time in my life!! Haha. Art was good too, hope to be getting an A1, at mid year i only got 70. I will shower some self-praise here- i think my watercolour painting of four apples and a boy is nice! :)

I am looking forward to church and Pastor's sermon on Ministry and S.H.A.P.E. I have read about SHAPE in the Purpose Driven Life, and so i cant wait to be blessed! Cos that's what i need. haha.

Some Bible verses:

1 Corinthians 12:6
God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all.

1 Peter 4:10
God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings.

2 Timothy 2:15
Do your best to present yourself to God as on approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

2 Corinthians 12:9a
My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.

It has been a really long time since i last updated! So i am updating now.. after my emaths paper 2 is over finally!! And i am rather hopeful to get at least a B, and i am hoping for A! XD yeahh man.

Listened to pastor's Where's Demas CD. I find it sad. That some people just wanna leave church like that. Is there a reason for it i wonder? Like, why do they suddenly wan to leave? I think it's a long process, and does not only have one factor, but a lot of factors that influence those who later on backslide.

Pastor said that it's drifting away from the presence of God, and yes, i agree. One cant last long without the presence of God, cos then, it's just empty. One will have to force himself to go to church and the passion is bound to wane if it continues like that.
It's also important to have great relationships with other people in church and one's own leaders. Relationships create the sense of belonging to a group, and makes it a joy to come back every week!

Eventho some may not admit it, everyone thirsts for deep and true relationships. I do, and my friends do too. I am not ashamed to say that i need great relationships. I want to be loved and accepted. Included. Not in a superficial way, but from the heart.

It is painful to see people not included. People who want to do something but are not encouraged to, not supported, not ... because of 'structure'.
Friendships should come before 'structure', good friends should not be forcefully torn apart by 'structure'.

Actually friendships, if not tampered with, will form it's own structure. Some people will do this, others will do that. And it's a joy, and not a burden! Cos we know each other so well, and for a long time already.
All the good things bloom in this environment. All envy bitterness is gone; there's no need for it. We are all one team, a group of people working together and having fun and ...

Hurhur. I still dont feel in my environment. And when i do, it's the 'structure' thing again.
Feels like i have one leg here, and the other one over there, and my heart is on no man's land. Disconnected from both worlds.

So i look. Right or left? Where to go? Friends i have known for a long time, or 'structure'?

Don't get me wrong. 'Structure' has it's benefits, but also has two sides to it.
If you are happy with it, excellent! You are set to grow and do many amazing things you have never done before! Inspired and on fire.

If you're not happy.. well.. you can try to make some 'new' good friends, while looking at those who you knew play in their own little secluded field, (and i should add, having great fun). Basically leaving behind what you've known and treasured and which could have developed into great things and exploits.
'New' friends are great to get to know, but i feel that they should not come at the expense of 'old' ones.

I know a song-

Neopoustej stare zname pro nove,
zvlaste kdyz jsou momentalne v nouzi.
Mozna maji pamet jako slonove,
mozna je to nadosmrti mrzi.

Dneska jsi tak uspesny a nemas strach,
zadny hrebik netlaci te v bote.
Zitra budes opusteny stary brach,
zitra budes uz mit hrebik v bote.

A great song sung by my favourite artist.

Don't leave old friends for new ones,
especially when they are in need at the moment.
Maybe they have a memory like elephants,
or maybe it grieves them all their life.

Today you are so prosperous and you have no fear,
nothing is holding you back.
Tomorrow you will be an abandoned old brother,
tomorrow there will be something holding you back.

My cry is that people will not feel unwanted and disconnected, especially in such a great place. Folks may say; you are mature, you must overcome! Jia you!
I dont seek encouragement just for that one occasion, i seek real heartfelt support throughout.
I want to overcome, i am working to overcome, .. but that would make it a whole lot easier.

I may be an egoistic goof full of paranoia, but hey, this is me. heh. At least it's me, before i become an aggressive freako who is bent on revenge. hehheh.

How do i love when i dont feel loved? +++

Woohaa.
My super slow computer guy is up again! So that means that i can blogg now! XDD Missed blogging mann. Well let's see, lots of things happened!

Pastor Joaquim Lunqvist! TAKE THE SCHOOLS! Wow. The sermons were more like sharing sessions full of amazing testimonies of how ordinary teenagers did and still do extraordinary things for God with such admirable courage. Johan, Jannie, David.. amazing. That teenagers like us can rise up to such levels and impact their world for God. Jannie is a total record-breaker, saving five people in a week?! *endless string of wows*

I wanna do something for Cedar too. Well. Thinks that i have not been bold enough. I really want to see salvations in our school, i am going to pray for a vision! For with a vision comes a purpose, and from a purpose actions are birthed! XD yeahh. Cedar For Christ! The next Cat High and St. Joseph's!

We are going to be more united than ever, come up with brand new fresh unique ideas, and PRAY and PRAY and PRAY even more together. Like we did last year everyday after school.

Last year.. erms. That reminds me! I should not be living in the past, which i have been living for a long time lol. What was last year cannot be the same this year, as there are many different factors to consider now. And people are different. *sighs* I shall not live backwards!!

I will step out of my comfort zone, I will not be affected by what people say or don't say, i will be bold for God and make a difference.
I will pray more, i will be still in God's presence. I will be another Rachel Scott, God bless her.
So on fire, so close to Him, giving up my life.

God, I am here. Send me out there into the world to be the Light for everyone. For my friends, family and all the ones who need love, care and concern.

I WANT TO LOVE YOUR AND OTHERS ONCE AGAIN!! This is the cry of my heart..

Saturday is my day. hm yeah. Just moved house yesterday morning to a new place in Bishan! haha. The whole process only took three hours.. really fast! there's lots of work to do and clean and scrub.

Sharing testimony today later on, i hope it will be alrite! haha. And i really want to stay for pastor joakim's sermons.. hope my mum will let me!

I am not going to be put down by loneliness, i will be filled with the Holy Spirit and anointing! XD